Some people might find the ending plain and boring, but this in fact what makes the story relatable, especially considering that this is in fact the good ending. Love the children interactions, very well-done. The only thing I feel was not necessary is making father a criminal in the end, it does not add much to the characters nor story, and leaving this part to the reader's imagination might have been better, at least I feel so. Anyway, awesome piece of writing.
I'm Cat, I like to draw, write short stories, and play video games
Cat
@wayyward
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Comments
Omg, thank you for your comment!! I'm glad you didn't mind the understated ending!! I was thinking of going for something more dramatic, but I chose to go with this, for basically the reasons you just said haha! I might like to go back and tighten this story up at some point. I feel like I added a few unnecessary parts xD!! Anyway, thank you so much for reading!! I'm happy to see you taking part in this jam!! I'm gonna have to go through and read everyone's stories, I really liked yours from last time
@wayyward
As a forensic medic, I find this ending totally satisfying, without dead frozen bodies, or amputating frozen limbs etc. Kind of soothing for a change.
jamriot
Great work as always! The expansiveness of the characters and worlds you create in such a short time for these Writer's Jams is really impressive, and I had a wonderful time reading this one! The Mrs. Walker excerpt was especially great. None of the moments you chose to focus on seemed to be unimportant, aside from maybe the "Mom's a bitch" segment being a bit redundant for parts of Robin and Will we saw/would end up seeing later in the story. That being said, this is still a very impressive story and I appreciate you participating again! Stay tuned for winner announcements soon!
wayyward
Thank you so much for reading, and for your feedback!! These jams are always a blast to participate in!